rants

From time to time, a girl just needs to rant a little.

Rant one: What is up with the stupid ass girls that use the bathroom on the third floor of the engineering building at UCLA? Seriously, I find several things annoying about my fellow bathroom-mates, so much so that I find myself cursing under my breath while I'm trying to enjoy my bodily relief. My major gripe has to do with the seat covers. Pretty much once or twice a week I'll walk into the stall only to see that about 23 seat covers are lying on the floor and the toilet itself. Now, I understand that the mechanics of the whole seat cover thing are a little complicated (did I mention this is the engineering building?), however if you happen to pull out a few too many, why the hell don't you pick them up and put them in the trash? Do you get so confused by what is going on that you just run out, afraid of the paper seat covers?? I really, really just don't understand this mentality. This has to be the same person too, I just have this feeling. My second gripe has to do with talking on a cell phone in a stall in the bathroom. It's fucking annoying. I mean really. There are places all over UCLA where you can talk on your cell phone in relative privacy. The god damn bathroom stall is not one of them. For me at least; how the hell am I supposed to go pee knowing that whoever you are talking to can hear my business? I don't even talk on the phone while taking care of business. My third gripe has to do with the girls that are already in a stall when I enter the bathroom, and proceed to halt anything they are doing, waiting for me to finish, washup, and leave before they continue. Alright, I understand some desire for modesty on their part, but my god, this leaves me as the person that must suck it up and pee while they get to listen to everything I do, just so they can remain comfortable. It's a horrible double standard. I hate it. Conclusion: bitches don't understand bathroom etiquette.

Second rant: This is one that is near and dear to me, as I am a bus rider that has to walk to and from my destinations and the bus stops. People that do not respect the pedestrian right-of-way. I'm not talking about me jaywalking, or running across the intersection after the do not walk sign is lit, because those things are annoying to drivers, rigthly so. I do drive on the weekends, and have my complaints about lameass pedestrians that should probably be knocked out of the gene pool. Oh no, I'm a very courteous pedestrian. It's about the fuckers that floor it just as the light turns green (and the walk sign is lit) so they can turn right without waiting for the pedestrians to cross, or the people who do the same thing about 0.01 seconds after I've "cleared" the lane they need to be in, so to speak. I understand traffic sucks, but do you understand that a slight error in judgement on your part results in serious harm to me, and that really, you're just an asshole? No really, do you get this part? I've often (as in twice) remarked that if I ever get serious about some karma style retribution, I'm going to hold on to the keys in my pocket with a key outstretched, and when one of those fuckers goes squealing past me just as I'm stepping into the crosswalk, I'm just going to pull it out and let the car hit the key. Because really, that's what it is. I wouldn't have to really reach out to hit the car, it's more like, "whoops, your car just ran into my keys which were hardly an elbow-to-fingertip's length away from my body." Today, if you didn't see this coming, was one of those days, but slightly modified. Today, one super asshole was turning right after the light in his direction turned red, and I was crossing perpindicular to him. This almost turned out tragically, but I had time to yell out "Hey, fucker!" before he was gone. Not two seconds later, as I'm now about five feet into the crosswalk, another asshole comes careening to a halt, as his front right bumper is about to meet with my knee. Now this guy, this guy I wanted to really yell at. This asshole is now about to run through the red light, that's right, not a green light, hitting me in the process. I stopped and glared, and yelled a few words along the lines of "Are you fucking serious," but he wouldn't look me in the eye. Interestingly, and I can only hope this is what stops him from such egregious driving in the future, a girl that I presume to be his daughter was in the backseat without a seat belt on flew into the back of his seat, hitting her head in the process, as he had to slam on the brakes to avoid my previously mentioned knees. She looked like she was in quite a bit of pain. Well, too bad for her, she got stuck with a pretty shitty dad. In retrospect I really, really, no you really don't understand how much I really think I should have taken a swift kick to one of his headlights and yelled out, "When you look at that broken headlight, you fuck, think about driving a little better. Because if you had hit me, you would have won by a long shot. ASSHOLE!" But I didn't.

So think about these things before you take on a pedestrian. You risk getting keyed, which is not that big of a deal, but you also risk losing the college fund for your daughter, or yourself, which I would have heartily sued for if this guy had hit me. Heartily!