The rest of last week (before the first) just flew by in a flash. The only highlights worth mentioning are the fact that the day after I posted my rant, someone just tore through the bathroom and left it a mess. That's right, two days in a row, lucky me. I took some pictures of it on my camera phone, but since I haven't gotten around to e-mailing them to myself yet, I doubt it's going to happen in the future. Suffice it to say it was actually slightly worse than what I described. It included an unwrapped maxi pad lying on the floor. Seriously.

Last Thursday, B and I went to the Echo to see Xu Xu Fang, as it was their record release party. They are my current favorite L.A. band, as they have that guitar driven, dark and swirly, yet catchy sound that I'm into. Female vocals float across the top, rather than standing out. Although, I have to say that since a recent lineup change in which they lost two guitar players (the previous lineup had three!) and gained a new second guitarist, their wall of guitar sound that I was digging has definitely weakened.

Saturday afternoon I was back in violin class after practicing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star every day, probably causing my old man neighbor to hate me. That's alright, he's always been a dick, banging on the wall when I talk in my room past 10 p.m. Yes, not a typo, I can't talk in my room after 10 p.m. without him banging loudly on the wall. We learned a much more challenging song: Ode to Joy by Beethoven. We slaughtered it very nicely. Unfortunately, I didn't have as much time this week to practice as I've been up at Caltech since Monday afternoon for a two week NSF summer school on nanomechanics. I suppose I could have brought the violin, but seeing as the walls in the dorms we are staying in are paper thin, I'm glad I didn't. If I were really good, I could justify it by saying my practicing would be like entertainment for those around me...but that's just a lie.

I'm going to go off on a bit of a tangent here, but I spent most of Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday in a strange mood due to my change in scenery. It had nothing to do with the course itself, which has been very interesting, and I've been learning a lot. It has more to do with the fact that when I was in high school, I really, really wanted to go to Caltech (or MIT) but didn't get in. I thought I was going to get in, which is what made it so disappointing. If there was anyone from my school that could get in, it was me, and I had yet to "fail" in life at that point, so I was just convinced they would want me. Well fast forward eight years, me seemingly over such a small detail (large though it may be to a seventeen year old). But something about living in the undergraduate dorms and actually pseudo-experiencing life at Caltech, I not only felt like I had regressed about six years in life to a time when life existed completely inside a ten foot by ten foot room and the surrounding campus, but I felt a sense of inadequacy and regret that that didn't get to become my life. Strange.

I should say that in general, I am happy with the direction my life took. The truth is, I wouldn't have been exposed to many of the things that have made me who I am if I had gone to a place like Caltech. I have to remind myself of that, because I do really like who I am as this adult.

Also adding to my feelings is the fact that B went to Caltech for his undergrad, and before now, I had always thought of it as the sort-of-distant past, the same way Miami is to me at this point. But being in the dorms where he lived and experienced so much is strange and makes me feel like there is so much I'll never be able to fully understand about him that occured at an important part of his life. This is really dumb though, as the inverse is also true, and he'll never get to know the Melissa that was kind of boy crazy and a dumbass at 19, and 20, and truthfully a little bit at 21 too. But I know that doesn't matter, that everything that happened in Miami is just the past. Who I am now is what matters in our relationship. Again, just some strange feelings.

I have the weekend off, and sleeping in my own bed will be nice. Seeing my cat is comforting as well; I worried about her all week, needlessly. Week three of violin tomorrow, I hope the amount of practice I did on Monday and today will get me through without too much embarrassment. I'll be going back to Caltech on Sunday night, so practicing this week will be scarce again. Oh well. Grad school has to come first.

Listening: Mum - Finally We Are No One